Weddings at First Unitarian
Introduction:
"Marriage in the Free Church"
Please note that due to construction and remodeling we are unable to accomodate non-member weddings until the spring of 2009.
Unitarian-Universalists regard marriage as one of the most significant "passages" a human being will experience in his or her lifetime. It is indeed a momentous occasion and should rightfully be accompanied by both ritual observance and festive celebration. While Unitarian-Universalists do not agree with the Roman Catholic position that marriage is a "sacrament" requiring ecclesiastical sanction, we expect that couples married in our tradition will take their commitment just as seriously. We believe a wedding should reflect the unique personalities and intentions of a specific couple, as well as accurately represent the faith tradition that provides the context for the occasion.
Certain legal requirements are satisfied when a couple is joined in wedlock by a Unitarian-Universalist minister. A license must be procured from the County Clerk's office within a month of the ceremony, which must be duly signed and witnessed. At the very least, the law requires that an oral vow or oath also be exchanged by the couple. Yet a wedding ought to accomplish more than merely fulfilling the letter of the law. Equally important is that the couple recognize the spiritual dimension of this covenant and that they cherish the memory of the wedding day for the rest of their lives.
Couples come to the First Unitarian Society to be married for many reasons:
1. We are more open and flexible about the design of the ceremony;
2. We will perform ceremonies for couples from different faith traditions;
3. Membership in our church is not required in order to be married by our clergy;
4. UU ministers often are willing to officiate "off-site" — in parks, private homes, and other venues;
5. We do not stigmatize couples who have been cohabiting prior to marriage, or because one or both parties have been married previously;
6. We are a "Welcoming Congregation" and perform Services of Union.
Why do we operate this way? Because ours is a liberal, non-creedal church that places a high value on individual freedom and dignity. It is not for the church's benefit, or to satisfy the institution's standards, that you are getting married. Thus we do not think there is any single "right" way to plan a wedding. We are concerned about facilitating the growth of your relationship and helping to lay the groundwork for its next phase.
Practical Matters
General Fees
The First Unitarian Society is pleased to make its historic Meeting House
available for weddings of members as well as for those who have no formal affiliation
with
the Society. Because the preservation of this facility is costly, the Society
has determined that all non-member users of the building shall share some
of that cost.
Fees noted below include the use of rooms in the Meeting House, services of custodians, and a stipend for the officiating minister. They do not include services of a wedding coordinator, musician, or sound system technician, or the full fees for a musician.
Auditorium/Hearth Room $950.00
West Living Room $625.00
One hour, typically the evening before, is reserved for a rehearsal and a period of four hours is generally allotted for a wedding at the Meeting House. If a party requires more time, that need should be made known at the time a wedding is scheduled. Additional fees may apply.
Space for weddings, rehearsals, and receptions must be reserved and confirmed through the Office Manager. See the special note about receptions below.
A deposit of $100 should accompany the request to hold a service at the Meeting House. If after an initial meeting, the couple determines that this is not a suitable venue for the service, the deposit will be refunded. The remainder of the fee is due and payable prior to the wedding.
Apart from a $100 custodial fee, pledging members of First Unitarian Society are granted complimentary use of the facilities. Ministers also agree to donate their services, although contributions to the ministerial discretionary fund are never discouraged. Non-members should expect to pay all applicable fees even if they elect to join First Unitarian Society between the time of their initial contact with the church and the wedding itself. We regret the need for this policy, but in the past some parties have abused our informal membership practices in order to circumvent the fee schedule.
Please Note:
Receptions at the Meeting HouseThe facilities at First Unitarian Society are not available to non-members or non-pledging members for post-ceremony receptions or for rehearsal dinners. Members in good standing may make such arrangements for their, or their immediate family's, wedding reception on a space-available basis; a deposit is required to cover custodial services.
About Ministers
While requests for the services of a particular minister of the clergy
staff may be honored, assignment of clergy is normally made on the basis
of availability. FUS will not honor requests for officiants on the basis
of age, race or gender
preference.
Ministers of First Unitarian Society are often willing to perform marriage ceremonies outside of the Meeting House. If the wedding is to take place locally (within 10 miles of the church), the officiant's honorarium is $350, inclusive of planning sessions and rehearsal. Travel further abroad may entail additional mileage fees, and the minister may not be available for planned rehearsals. The honorarium is due at or before the rehearsal.
On rare occasions, clergy, judges, and other legally qualified celebrants may perform weddings at First Unitarian Society. Such arrangements are made in direct consultation with the Parish Minister and should precede any request for the use of our space.
Music
Couples
are encouraged to use the professional music staff to complement their
wedding celebrations. The musicians establish their own fees, but a stipend
of $150 is typical for organists and pianists. This fee covers a meeting
with the music staff person and performing for the wedding. Additional
fees will be charged for extra rehearsals with singers and instrumentalists.
Couples contract directly with the music staff (Music Director and Assistant
Music Director) who can also assist the wedding couple recruit vocalists
and instrumentalists. If the wedding couple wishes to use a non-staff organist
or pianist, First Unitarian charges a $50 instrument usage fee that is
directed to the Music Program Fund.
A Word about Services of Spiritual Union
For
as long as men and women have walked on the earth, there have been some
human beings who have shared their deepest expression of love with
a person of the same gender. Our faith tradition has grown to recognize
the validity and beauty of this special way of loving. Unitarian Universalism
strives to address and assuage the prejudice and the consternation that
homosexuals have had to bear for loving unabashedly by offering to perform "Services
of Union." It
is our hope that one day all true love partnerships will be legalized
and fully affirmed, but presently Wisconsin does not grant legal recognition
to gay and
lesbian couples.
In Closing
The Meeting House of the First Unitarian Society is a serene and
beautiful venue for a Wedding or Service of Union at any time of year.
The traditions
and values of the Unitarian-Universalist movement are well-suited
to many
modern couples and to an array of serious, committed relationships.
Planning for a
ceremony at the Meeting House affords each couple an opportunity
for thoughtful reflection and joyful celebration. The staff and clergy
of the First Unitarian
Society welcome your inquiries and are eager to assist you in planning
your Wedding or Service of Union.
